go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize