Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I smell stomach acid.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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