I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
