I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
