I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
