i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
