also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
