I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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