How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
