Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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