That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize