After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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