Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
