we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
