i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
