if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize