is your mom at the bar?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
