i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
