high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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