WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
wow bdsm is so cute
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize