Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
