I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
