they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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