i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
operation have a gay friend backfired
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
