somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
