You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
