are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
