I got chris browned last night
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
