okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
