Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
