so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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