you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
