ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
