whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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