he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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