I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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