Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
