Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
