After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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