If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
