The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Alive.
So much puke
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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