I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
