Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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