Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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