you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
