I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
