it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
