i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
