You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
