i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
