I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize