So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
