That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize