how can u be prego again
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
