If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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