Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize
