I want to have your abortion
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
