My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
