This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
