...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
