This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize