when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
