There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
