There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
