I hope mine doesn't look like that
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize